When it comes to this time of the year, I start to reflect on things that happened and didn’t happen throughout the year, things I have done and haven’t done, the people I’ve met, the experiences and conversations that impacted me. It’s a time for me to reflect and evaluate, and from that, I form my next year.
During this time I ask God for a word or a couple of words that will help me in the new year. For the last four years, it was “change” and “grow”, the year before that was; faith, family, photos (memories) and fitness (health).
The word that came to my heart for 2020 is the word “intentional”. More than ever before in my life, I feel He wants me to focus on things that are important. To live daily in a way where I don’t just accept my day but lead my day. A day where I focus my energy on being an intentional man, husband, and father.
So what does it mean to be more intentional? It means choosing to live in a way that is in alignment with your vision and purpose. Intentional living takes you from where you are not to where you want to go. It’s a game plan.
Being intentional means deciding how you want to live as a man, husband, and dad ahead of time and then taking initiative and taking action.
If we’re intentional about being productive and having a specific direction in other areas of our life (job, health,etc.), why are we not more intentional with our family life?
Think about how different 2020 would be if we took the days, time and opportunities we have and maximize every moment. What if we take the time and plan what we want to do and what we want to see happen beforehand. Whether that is overcoming anger, communicating better with your kids, spending more time with them or whatever it may be.
I believe deep down, every dad desires to be intentional. We want to make family time a priority. We want to spend both quantity and quality time together. But somewhere along the line, life seems to get in the way.
I don’t know of many dads who aren’t busy and family life has a way of getting hectic real quick. But what if, instead of allowing the hectic routine of family life to control us, we started controlling it? What if we started telling our family routine how to act, instead of the other way around? How much more effective could we become as a family if we just had a simple structure and plan to maximise our family interactions.
Here are 5 things we can do to be more intentional today:
1. Write down the goal or vision you have for your children
Write it down and set it up in a place where you are able to see it every day. Make it your phone or computer wallpaper, tape it to the bathroom mirror or hang it somewhere.
2. Identify action steps AND TAKE ACTION
This is your game plan. Break down a goal or vision you have into small actionable steps. Knowing what to do and doing it are two different things, have the action step and do it.
For example:
I want to spend more quality time with my children
My action steps:
Go on one-on-one date nights with each child once a month
3. Be Present
Our kids are fighting for our attention every single day, so put down the phone, close the laptop and give them your undivided attention.
4. Action over Reaction
By being present, it is easier to act rather than react. Take a second to analyse a situation and think about what the best way will be to handle it.
5. Prioritize
Learn the value of saying “No”. By saying “Yes” to everything, you eventually run yourself thin. You feel like your world is getting out of control and you’re not sure which way to go. It’s this lack of focus that brings to light the bigger lesson: Everything comes with an opportunity cost.
Whenever you say “Yes” to something, you are, at the same time, saying “No” to something else.
Eventually, you come to realise that by saying “No,” you are really saying “Yes” to more important things and make sure you put it into your calendar.
QUESTION: What are some things you want to be more intentional about in 2020?